Épisode Poursuivre notre route S03E21 - Desperate Housewives Saison 3

WISTERIA LANE - NIGHTTIME

Mary Alice: "It can happen to anyone--an old woman hears suspicious footsteps as she walks down the street...a businessman sees a reflection in his car window...a shop owner feels a blade...

pressed against his back...and in that instant, an ordinary person is transformed into a victim. And a world that seemed so safe is suddenly filled with danger."

SCAVO RESTAURANT

Lynette and Rick are eating dinner together in the empty restaurant.

Lynette: "So this little ear-shaped pasta is called..."

Rick: "Orecchiette. And the cubes of bacon are pancetta."

Lynette: "Thank God for Italian. You can charge way more for 'orecchiette with pancetta' than you'd ever get for 'bacon and little ears.'"

He pours her some wine.

Lynette: "Thank you. This is nice."

Rick: "It doesn't need more garlic?"

Lynette: "No, I mean...everything--the food, the wine...you. I swear, there are times this is all that gets me through my day, knowing at the end of it, I get to steal this little half-hour where I'm not a mom or a wife or a...pizza slave. I'm just a...tired lady with a nice man who cooks for her."

Rick: "Well, it's the highlight of my day, too."

The door opens and two men walk in.

Rick: "Sorry, guys. We're closed."

Man: "Yeah, we know."

The man pulls out a gun and points it at them.

Man: "Put your cell phones on the table."

Lynette: "Oh, crap."

Later, the men push Rick and Lynette into the walk-in freezer in the back of the restaurant.

Man: "Get in there. Don't make any noise."

He closes the door. Lynette runs to the door and tries the doorknob.

Lynette: "Oh... my...God! Oh! Oh, my God! They locked us in here! It's forty-two degrees! We're gonna freeze to death!"

Rick: "Listen, don't panic. I'm sure when you don't come home, Tom will come looking for you."

Lynette: "No, he won't. He takes a pain pill at ten. He's probably already asleep. Jeez. How are we gonna make it through the night in here?"

Mary Alice: "Yes, in the moment it takes to bolt a freezer door, ordinary people can become victims."

Rick takes off his apron and wraps it around Lynette before wrapping his arms around her.

Rick: "That better?"

Mary Alice: "And a world that seemed so safe..."

Lynette: "Yeah. That helps."

Mary Alice: "...is suddenly filled with danger."

LYNETTE'S HOUSE

As the clock reads 12:07 on the nightstand, Tom is sleeping in bed.

Mary Alice: "At the exact same moment his wife was being locked in a freezer, Tom Scavo was having a nightmare about monsters trying to destroy his home."

As the clock reads 6:32 on the nightstand, Tom wakes up.

Mary Alice: "But it wasn't until he woke up the next morning that his real nightmare began."

Tom looks over to Lynette's side of the bed and notices that nobody slept there last night. He goes downstairs and sees that the couch is empty, too.

SCAVO RESTAURANT

Rick and Lynette are lying on the ground. Rick's arm is around Lynette, pulling her close to his body as they spoon.

Rick: "You awake?"

Lynette: "Yeah."

Rick: "Did you sleep at all?"

Lynette: "A little. Thanks for not letting me freeze last night."

Rick: "Are you kidding me? You're the one that kept me warm. You don't have a fever, do you?"

Lynette: "No. That's just me. Tom's always kicking the covers off the bed. He calls me his little blonde furnace."

Rick: "He's a lucky guy."

They hear the front door slam and Lynette gets up.

Tom: "Lynette?"

Lynette: "Tom! In here!"

Tom unlocks the freezer and Lynette rushes out and hugs him.

Tom: "Thank God."

Lynette: "We were robbed!"

Tom: "I don't care about that. Are you okay?"

Lynette: "Yeah. No, I'm fine."

Tom: "Were you hurt?"

Lynette: "No, no, I'm just cold."

Tom: "I was so worried about you. If you knew the places that my mind has been..."

Lynette: "I'm sorry. I would've called, but they took our cell phones before they locked us in there."

Tom: "Us?"

Rick steps out of the freezer.

Rick: "Hey."

Tom: "Hey."

FAIRVIEW MAIN STREET

Vern and Gabrielle step out of a shop. Gabrielle is holding shopping bags. They start walking towards Gabrielle's car.

Vern: "I can't believe one dress could cost so much."

Gabrielle: "Well, I wanna look fabulous tonight when Victor's elected mayor."

Vern: "Yeah, but isn't it bad luck to buy a dress for the victory party before the election?"

Gabrielle: "Vern, focus. It's never bad luck when I look fabulous."

They reach her car, where a meter man is starting to write her a ticket.

Gabrielle: "Oh! Hi. Don't worry. I'm here now."

Meter Man: "Yeah, but your meter just expired. Might want to put another quarter in."

Gabrielle: "Oh, no, no. I'm just gonna say bye to my friend, then I'm gone."

She turns to Vern.

Vern: "You know, this whole thing is crazy. I go on one gay cruise and come home to find you engaged to some rich politician."

Gabrielle: "Oh, Vern, I can't wait for you to meet him. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man--sensitive and kind..."

Vern: "...and buys you three thousand dollar dresses."

Gabrielle: "...buys me three thousand dollar dresses."

Vern: "And he's totally fine with you being a high-maintenance nightmare?"

Gabrielle: "Oh, my God. That's the best part. He lets me be me. All right, I gotta get going."

Vern: "See you later."

Vern leaves. Gabrielle turns back to her car and sees that the meter man is writing out a ticket.

Gabrielle: "What are you doing? I told you I was leaving. Stop writing!"

Meter Man: "Yeah, but you weren't leaving. You were flapping your gums."

Gabrielle: "Oh, give me a break. I was standing right there. You could've said something."

Meter Man: "I told you to put a quarter in...spoiled bitch."

Gabrielle: "You can't talk to me like that!"

She grabs the ticket that he put under her windshield wiper and looks at it.

Gabrielle: "Forty dollars? You think I'm gonna pay that?"

Meter Man: "No, uh, I'm guessing it'd be the sap that bought you the three thousand dollar dress."

OUTSIDE MIKE'S HOUSE

Carlos walks outside to get the paper. Susan comes up to him.

Susan: "Hey, Carlos! Wait. Hi. Look, there's some crazy rumor going around that Mike moved."

Carlos: "It's true. He went on a little trip, and then he's heading back east."

Susan: "Oh, my God. What--where is he now?"

Carlos looks at her silently.

Susan: "Okay, look, I know that I've put Mike through the wringer, but that's why I have to talk to him--to make it right. He's not answering his cell phone."

Carlos: "He turned it off. He said he wanted to clear his head."

Susan: "Okay, Carlos...tell me where to find him."

Carlos: "I'm sorry, Susan. Look, you know what they say--bros before hos."

Susan gives him a look.

Carlos: "They...say it. I...don't."

Susan: "Come on. Just for my peace of mind, I have to know he's okay."

Carlos: "I don't know..."

Susan: "What am I gonna do go hunt him down? I have a daughter. I have responsibilities."

Carlos: "Okay. He hiked to the hot springs at Pinewood Valley State Forest."

SUSAN'S HOUSE

Susan comes down the stairs with a small, pink backpack and a warm coat. Julie is right behind her.

Susan: "Okay, Julie, I'm out of here. Here's forty bucks on the counter."

Julie: "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Susan: "Yes. If I don't find Mike before he's off that mountain, I may never see him again."

Julie: "Okay, what you're doing is nauseatingly romantic, but how do you know he even wants to see you? I mean, after the whole "I choose Ian" thing?"

Susan: "That's why I have to go. I have to make amends and heal his broken heart."

Julie: "Oh, well, what if his devastation has turned to anger, and he's burning pictures of you in his campfire?"

Susan: "Well, what else can I do? I love him. I have to go."

Julie: "Then go."

Susan leaves and Julie shakes her head and goes back upstairs.

EDIE'S HOUSE

Carlos and Travers are playing video games.

Travers: "Strike three! You're outta there!"

Carlos: "Again? How are you beating me? You got someone in there greasing the ball for you? Huh? Huh?"

He grabs Travers under his arm and starts giving him a noogie. Edie comes into the room.

Edie: "Hey, come on, Travers. You can take him. Go for the soft underbelly!"

She starts lightly punching Carlos in his stomach.

Carlos: "Soft? What are you talking about? I'm all muscle. Travers, feel that bicep."

Carlos flexes his bicep and Travers touches it.

Travers: "Mom's is harder."

Edie: "Oh, well, thank you, sweetheart."

Carlos: "Fine. I can take a hint. I need a little exercise. So how about we go to the batting cages and hit a few?"

Travers: "Cool."

Edie: "Wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're supposed to go to the movies. How about batting cages on Saturday?"

Carlos: "Sounds great."

Travers: "Yeah, we'll get to find out who hits the ball harder--you or mom."

Carlos: "You are so going down. Come here."

He grabs for Travers again. The doorbell rings.

Edie: "Hey, who the hell is that?"

She answers the door. Charles McLain, Travers' dad, is standing there.

Charles: "Hello, Edie."

Edie: "Oh. Uh, Travers? It's your dad."

Later, Charles is sitting in a chair with Travers in his lap. Edie and Carlos sit on the couch across from them.

Charles: "Kenya was amazing, and, uh, being a part of Doctors Without Borders was so rewarding. But I can't do it again, not with the time commitment. I'm gonna have to wait till this little guy is in college."

Carlos: "So...when are you taking Travers home?"

Charles: "Uh, not till tomorrow. I'm, uh, speaking at a conference in Hilldale this afternoon." (to Travers) "And if you're hungry, I'm buying you breakfast."

Travers: "That'd be great."

Charles: "All right!"

Travers gets off his dad's lap and Edie stands up.

Edie: "I'll help you get dressed."

They leave the room.

Carlos: "You know, um... if you wanna take a couple days and chill, Edie and I would be more than happy to keep looking after Travers."

Charles: "Oh, thanks, but, uh, we should probably get back home."

Carlos: "Right. The thing is--is...we kind of made plans to take him to the batting cage on Saturday."

Charles: "Oh. Sorry. Uh, well, maybe you can take him the next time he visits."

Carlos: "Yeah, yeah. When do you think that'll be?"

Charles: "I don't know. Um...I'll have to check my schedule."

Carlos: "I don't mean to sound pushy. It's just, uh...you know, the three of us, we've just--we've been having a lot of fun together."

Charles: "Well...look at the bright side--you'll have a lot more time alone with Edie."

Carlos: "Yeah...that is good."

POLICE STATION

Lynette, Tom, and Rick are looking at a surveillance video from the restaurant with a police officer.

Rick: "Here you go, officer. I cued it up to the, uh, clearest shot of the guy."

Tom: "Thank God you made me spring for that surveillance camera. I wanted to spend the money on a pinball machine."

They watch as on the video, the man pulls a gun on Lynette and Rick.

Tom: "Son of a bitch."

Cop: "I think these are the same guys that hit a couple of diners out on Mount Vernon. You mind if I rewind?"

Tom: "No."

Cop: "I wanna see the exact time they came in."

He rewinds to before the men came in and the video shows Lynette and Rick eating dinner together.

Cop: "Oop. Whoops. Huh, overshot it a little."

Lynette: "I was doing receipts, and Rick surprised me with this great idea for the menu. It's called--what are they called?"

Rick: "Uh, orecchiette. It means little--"

Tom: "I know what it means."

Lynette: "And he makes them with pancetta and garlic and olive oil. It's really, really good. It's gonna be our special tonight."

Cop: "So the door was unlocked? You need to be more careful. The two of you are just asking for trouble."

Lynette: "Yeah, I guess we were."

HOTEL ROOM PARTY

Victor, Gabrielle, and a large number of Victor's supporters are waiting for the results of the election.

Jerome: "Quiet! Quiet! They're about to announce!"

Reporter on TV: "...and the race in Valley Ridge is too close to call. However, we're now projecting a winner in Fairview. It's Victor Lang by ten percent..."

Everyone cheers and Gabrielle jumps up into Victor's arms to hug him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Crowd: "Speech! Speech!"

Victor: "Thank you, all. I couldn't have done it without any of you. I would especially like to thank my beautiful fiancée Gabrielle. And I will, as soon as the feeling returns to my lower back."

Jerome: "Sir, mayor's on the phone. Sounds like he wants to concede."

Victor takes the phone and leaves the room. The Jerome's wife comes over.

Wife: "Gabrielle, congratulations."

Gabrielle: "Thank you. Your husband runs a hell of a campaign."

Wife: "We're so excited for Victor. What a day, huh?"

Gabrielle: "Well, it is ending a lot better than it started."

Wife: "Oh? What happened?"

Gabrielle: "Oh, this morning, I got in a fight with a parking cop over a ticket, and the guy was a total jerk."

Wife: "Well, your days of dealing with that crap are over."

Gabrielle: "What do you mean?"

Wife: "Mayor Johnson's wife, Sydney--she's been collecting parking tickets like bubble gum cards for years--just gives them to her husband. They disappear."

Gabrielle: "Keep talking."

Wife: "Honey, you are no longer one of the little people. Forget jury duty, speeding tickets. You rule this town now."

Victor comes back.

Victor: "Well, he conceded. I'm the mayor."

Gabrielle: "You ready to be the mayor's wife?"

Victor: "Am I ever."

MIKE'S HOUSE

Carlos is washing dishes when Edie comes in.

Edie: "Knock, knock."

Carlos: "Hey. Where's Travers?"

Edie: "His dad's helping him pack."

Carlos: "God, I'm gonna miss that little guy. It's been so much fun."

Edie: "Yeah, it was. You're gonna miss him, too, aren't you?"

Carlos: "I know what would cheer us up."

Edie: "A weekend getaway, just the two of us. How's that sound?"

Carlos: "Actually, I'm busy this weekend."

Edie: "Really? I thought we had plans to go to the batting cage."

Carlos: "Well, yeah, but that was gonna take a couple of hours, and I'm swamped with work."

Edie: "Since when? You spent every day hanging out with me and Travers."

Carlos: "Exactly. I've been putting off my work so I could be there to help you with him, and now it's time for me to buckle down."

Edie: "So...what does that mean for you and me?"

Carlos: "We're still gonna see each other. I was thinking...uh, for your birthday, that we could go to that new oyster bar."

Edie: "My birthday is two weeks from now."

Carlos: "Yeah. It'll be my treat."

Edie: "Great. Looking forward to it...for the next fourteen days."

She starts to leave.

Carlos: "Hey, uh, don't let Travers leave without saying good-bye to me."

Edie: "Oh, wouldn't dream of it. I know how much he means to you."

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST PARK RANGER CABIN

Susan walks up to the counter.

Ranger: "Hi there."

Susan: "Uh, can I get a map to the hot springs? I'm gonna hike up there."

Ranger: "No problem. You got gear?"

Susan: "Yep."

She pats her pink backpack.

Ranger: "That's not gear."

Susan: "Why not?"

Ranger: "It's tiny, ma'am. And pink."

Susan: "Well, it's my daughter's. Uh, the whole junior class has them."

Ranger: "Does the junior class have compasses, too? Trail shoes? Tents?"

Susan: "Why would I need a tent?"

Ranger: "It's a 2-day hike to reach the springs."

Susan: "Two days? Well, can't I just drive part of the way and then hike from there?"

Ranger: "That's not really how nature works, ma'am. There are trails, not roads."

Susan: "Well, maybe I am a little unprepared, but it'll be fine. I work out. I have quads of steel."

Ranger: "I'm sorry. I just can't let you go up there--"

Susan: "Can't? There's no "can't" in love. There's a man on that mountain that I intend to spend the rest of my life with, and nothing is gonna keep me from him-- not fate, not destiny and definitely not you."

Ranger: "To finish my thought, ma'am. I can't let you go up there alone. You'll need a guide."

Susan: "Cool. How do I get one of those?"

Ranger: "Toni, I got a hiker for ya!"

A well-built woman comes out from the back room.

Ranger: "This is Toni, and those are quads of steel."

RESTAURANT

Tom and Rick are having lunch at a fancy restaurant.

Rick: "Thanks for suggesting we do this. I've always wanted to try this place."

Tom: "Well, you've been working for me for over a month, and I figured it was time we got acquainted. So much I don't know about you."

Rick: "Well, I'll be happy to fill in the blanks. What would you like to know?"

Tom: "Well, for starters--are you sleeping with my wife?"

Rick: "What? No, Tom. Of course not."

Tom: "Okay, so you're just hoping to sleep with her."

Rick: "Look, if this is about the video, I swear, I was just trying out a new recipe."

Tom: "Don't give me the recipe line. I am not an idiot. The truth is that Lynette and I have been going through sort of a rough patch."

Rick: "Yeah, she--she told me about that."

Tom: "And then you came along, and wham, it's the perfect storm. You're young, good-looking, sensitive. Way more fun than five screaming kids and a cranky, invalid husband."

Rick: "Tom, seriously, nothing has happened."

Tom: "And nothing is going to, because you are gonna quit."

Rick: "Quit? No. No, no. No, I'm not gonna do that. You want me gone, fire me."

Tom: "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Have Lynette fight for you, while I'm the jealous jerk who can't trust his wife. No. You have to quit."

Rick: "I'm staying as long as Lynette wants me there. And make no mistake. She wants me there."

Tom: "Oh, buddy. You're not thinking this thing through, because Lynette will never leave her family. So the best, and I mean the very best, that you can hope for is to catch her in a weak moment and leave a wound in her marriage that will take years to heal, but it will heal, because I will stand by her and I will love her just as hard as she hates herself for what she did. You still feel like sticking around?"

The waitress comes over.

Waitress: "Can I get you some more bread?"

Rick: "No, I think I've had just about enough."

Rick stands up and leaves.

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST

Toni and Susan are hiking. Susan is trailing behind.

Susan: "I mean, the doctor said that Mike might never come out of the coma. And then when he did, he didn't even remember me."

Toni: "Do you need to rest a second? You sound winded."

Susan: "No, no. I'm invigorated. This fresh mountain air is--aah!"

Toni turns around and sees that Susan's hair is caught in the branches of a tree.

Susan: "Little help. So anyway, the whole situation with Mike--it just seemed hopeless and that's when I decided to take a chance with Ian."

Toni: "Ian is the British guy whose heart you crushed?"

Susan: "Yeah. What was I supposed to do, wait forever for Mike?"

Susan is freed from the tree and they begin walking again.

Susan: "No, seriously, I was asking. What would you have done?"

Toni: "I would have waited for him."

Susan: "Well, clearly, you were not paying attention, because I did go back to Mike the second he woke up, and he'd totally forgotten me!"

Toni: "But none of that matters anymore 'cause..."

She stops and starts making choking noises. Toni turns back around.

Susan: "Bug."

Toni: "You know, the bugs can't get in if you keep your mouth shut."

EDIE'S HOUSE

Travers is playing a video game when Edie walks over holding a puppy.

Edie: "Travers. I have someone who wants to meet you."

Travers: "A puppy!"

Edie: "Yeah. You wanna hold him?"

Travers: "He's awesome. Are you gonna keep him?"

Edie: "No, he's not mine. He's yours."

Travers: "No way!"

Edie: "Well, way! I just rescued him from the pound. So. What you gonna call him?"

Travers: "Fenway. After Fenway Park."

Edie: "That is so cute! Everybody back home is gonna be so jealous."

Travers: "But, mom. I can't take him home. Dad's allergic."

Edie: "That's right. Shoot. Oh, I'm gonna have to take poor little Fenway back to the pound."

Travers: "No! Why can't I keep him here?"

Edie: "Well, you don't visit here very often, and--and I can't take care of a dog all by myself. Well, I don't know what else to do."

Travers: "Why can't I just visit you more?"

Edie: "Hey, that's a thought, and Carlos would love it, too. Of course, I don't know how your father would feel about joint custody."

Travers: "I'll talk to him. I'll tell him I want it."

Edie: "Really? Well, that would be great. But you better make sure that he knows that it was all your idea, okay?"

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST - NIGHTTIME

Toni and Susan are sitting around a campfire.

Toni: "We're about three hours from the hot springs. So if we get an early start tomorrow, we should be there by lunch."

Susan takes out some face cream and scoops a handful onto her fingers.

Toni: "What are you doing?"

Susan: "Oh, it's a face mask. It's lavender and honey. You want some?"

Toni: "Honey, huh? So you're in the middle of the woods, getting ready to smear your face with bear food?"

Susan: "Well, I wanted to look nice for Mike."

Toni: "Lord knows I don't want to hear you talk about this anymore but what exactly do you think is gonna happen with you and this guy?"

Susan: "Well. I'm going to apologize, and then I'm gonna tell him that I made a huge mistake--"

Toni: "No, no, no, no. After that. Say he accepts your apology. You get back together, and then what happens? You know, after the novelty wears off?"

Susan: "Well, then. We'll just be happy."

Toni makes a face.

Susan: "Okay, I know it's dark, but I can see you."

Toni: "Look, after hearing your whole history with Mike it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the problem is."

Susan: "What is it?"

Toni: "You. You don't want to be happy. You're a drama junkie. When there is no drama, you create it. You sleep with your ex-husband, you cheat on a coma victim and now you're hiking up a mountain after a guy who has no idea you're coming. Who knows? Maybe this guy will take you back. But once the dust settles, you'll kick up some more because you don't know how to just be happy."

Susan: "You don't even know me. How dare you talk to me like that?"

Toni: "Ooh, so dramatic. I'm gonna turn in now."

Toni gets into her tent, leaving Susan alone by the fire. The next morning, Toni crawls out of her tent.

Toni: "All right, sunshine, let's get moving."

She looks over at Susan's tent, which is empty. There's a note waiting for Toni that says that Susan is going to look for Mike on her own and that Toni can carry Susan's gear back down.

FAIRVIEW MAIN STREET

Vern and Gabrielle are in Gabrielle's car, at a red light.

Vern: "What are you looking at?"

Gabrielle: "My city. It's like I'm seeing it for the first time. Everything looks different now that I'm First Lady of Fairview."

Vern: "Oh, my God. You did not just call yourself First Lady of Fairview."

Gabrielle sees the meter man from before.

Gabrielle: "Well, well, well. Who do we have here?"

Vern: "Oh, wouldn't you just love to rub his nose in your newfound power?"

Gabrielle: "Vern, you're just awful. And as it happens, so am I."

The light turns green and Gabrielle drives up to where the meter man is. She parks the car and gets out.

Vern: "Gaby, come on, I was just joking."

Meter Man: "Hey, lady. It's a hydrant. You can't park there."

Gabrielle: "Really? 'Cause I just did."

Meter Man: "Oh, you again!"

Vern: "Gaby."

Gabrielle: "Just stand back and enjoy the carnage."

The meter man writes out a ticket and hands it to her.

Gabrielle: "Thank you. Now what you're about to see may astound you."

She tears the ticket up and throws the pieces onto the ground.

Meter Man: "You know, I could give you another ticket for littering."

Gabrielle: "You could try, but you might not want to. See, I'm engaged to Victor Lang. Ring a bell? The mayor? Your new boss?"

Meter Man: "I don't follow politics."

Vern: "Let me know when the carnage begins so I can shield my eyes."

Gabrielle: "Listen, buddy, you're not getting it. You answer to me now. I could have you fired."

Meter Man: "You can't do nothing."

Gabrielle: "I can do whatever I want! In fact, my first official act of business as mayoress of Fairview...is to declare today free parking day!"

She begins going to all of the cars where there are tickets on the windshield and she grabs them all.

Meter Man: "Hey, knock that off. Hey!"

Gabrielle: "Free parking!"

Meter Man: "Give me that!"

Gabrielle: "No!"

Meter Man: "Give me that!"

He grabs her and twists her wrists as he tries to get the tickets from her.

Gabrielle: "Ow, you're hurting me!"

The sound of police sirens is heard.

Gabrielle: "You know what that sound is, fat boy? The sound of your career circling the bowl. Yeah, you're gonna find out what happens when you screw with the first lady of Fairview!"

Later, Gabrielle stares sullenly out the window of the police car that she was put in. The car drives off and the meter man looks triumphant.

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST

Susan is hiking.

Susan: "Okay, north. I need north. Moss grows on the north side of trees."

She looks at a tree and then sees that the moss is growing all around it.

Susan: "What? Ugh, damn it! Stupid mossy trees!"

She kicks a tree and loses her balance, falling over a log.

OUTSIDE EDIE'S HOUSE

Charles comes up the sidewalk to pick up Travers.

Travers: "Dad!"

Charles: "Hey, hey, buddy! How you doing?"

Travers: "Good. Can I ask you a question?"

Charles: "Sure. You can ask me anything."

Travers: "How would you feel about joint custody?"

INSIDE EDIE'S HOUSE

Edie and Charles are arguing.

Charles: "You bought him a puppy?"

Edie: "No, I bought myself a puppy. How was I supposed to know that he'd get so attached?"

Charles: "Don't lie to me, Edie. You were trying to manipulate him."

Edie: "What? Would it be so terrible to have joint custody? In case you forgot, I am his mother."

Charles: "Two weeks out of the year, and that's the way you wanted it."

Edie: "Well, I changed my mind."

Charles: "Aw, damn it, Edie. We had an agreement!"

Edie: "It wasn't official! And there isn't a judge in this world that would keep a mother from her child."

Outside, Travers is sitting on the porch step with the puppy. Carlos comes over.

Carlos: "Hey, Travers. What's going on?"

Travers: "Mom and Dad are fighting."

Carlos: "You wanna go watch TV at my house?"

Travers: "Okay."

Carlos: "I'll see you there in a sec, buddy."

Travers leaves.

Charles: "You haul me into court, and so help me, I will destroy you!"

Edie: "You threaten me again, and I will go for full custody, you--you son of a bitch."

Charles storms out.

Carlos: "Oh, hi."

Charles: "Hey."

Carlos: "So. What is going on?"

Charles: "Edie has lost her mind. For eight years, she's been happy to see him two weeks a year. Now out of the blue, she's gotta have joint custody."

Carlos: "Really?"

Charles: "Yeah. And how's that supposed to work? We live four hours away. What's he gonna do, go to two different schools?"

Carlos: "I don't know what to tell you, man. I'm sorry."

Charles: "Yeah, thanks. You know, I just don't get it. Edie's been perfectly happy with our arrangement. What the hell's gotten into her?"

SCAVO RESTAURANT

The last two patrons leave as Lynette sees them out.

Customer: "Well, thanks."

Lynette: "Good night. Come again."

She locks the door.

Lynette: "There. Hey...I made you an espresso."

Rick: "Great."

Lynette: "You okay? You've been so quiet all night."

Rick: "I had lunch with Tom today."

Lynette: "That's funny. He didn't mention it."

Rick: "He asked me if I was sleeping with you."

Lynette: "What? I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. That paranoid idiot. You know, I knew it. I knew when we were watching the surveillance tapes that he would completely misinterpret it."

Rick: "Oh, did he?"

Lynette: "Did he what?"

Rick: "Uh, did he misinterpret it? Or did he just see what is obvious that you and I can't admit?"

Lynette: "I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing to admit."

Rick: "Lynette, how long are we gonna kid ourselves? I have feelings for you. I know you feel something for me."

Lynette: "Stop! Don't say it! You cannot say these things."

Rick: "Come on. We both know it's true. We've been flirting since we met."

Lynette: "Yes, flirting! That's it! It's what married people do, because we know there is a line you don't cross. And maybe I've gotten close to that line, and maybe I've enjoyed getting close to that line, but I have never once crossed it."

Rick: "Look, I know I don't have much to offer--"

Lynette: "And I have nothing to offer! I am taken! God!"

Rick: "Great, great. Now--now what, you're mad at me?"

Lynette: "Yeah, I'm mad! I am mad because I loved our nights together. It made me feel sexy and happy, and, God, how I needed that. And now it's over. You ruined it. You can't work here anymore."

Rick: "Wait...you're gonna fire me?"

Lynette: "Oh, jeez. What choice do I have?"

Rick: "Lynette. Lynette, please--"

He reaches for her and she backs away.

Lynette: "Don't touch me! You have to go now. Please, go. You have to go now. Go on. Go."

She goes into the back room.

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST PARK RANGER'S CABIN - NIGHTTIME

Toni and the other park ranger are looking at a map.

Toni: "Her name is Susan Mayer, and she's never hiked before. Now this is the last place I saw her, but honestly, she could be anywhere."

Mike walks into the cabin and goes up to another park ranger.

Mike: "Just checking back in. The name's Delfino."

Ranger #1: "Delfino. Great. You're all set."

Ranger #2: "Are you sure she's lost?"

Toni: "Of course I'm sure. She's a dippy brunette from the suburbs. She didn't bring a compass. She brought makeup."

Ranger #2: "Wait, is she the one looking for the guy at the hot springs?"

Toni: "Yep, that's her. Now let's go find her before she falls off a cliff. The woman is a total klutz."

Mike finishes signing back in and leaves the cabin.

Ranger #2: "Yeah, I hear you."

Toni: "All right, we'll split up. I'll take north of the river here, and you look down in here."

Mike comes back in.

Mike: "Excuse me. This klutz...could you tell me her name?"

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST - NIGHTTIME

Susan limps over to a tree and sinks down onto the ground. She dials a number on her cell phone and begins talking.

Susan: "Oh. Hey...Mike. Um, listen, I know your cell phone's off, but I...I wanted you to know that I followed you up to the hot springs, and...now i'm lost. You know, in the off chance that I get devoured by a mountain lion, I--I just wanted you to know that, um...I love you. I've always loved you. And I don't want any more drama. And if you take me back, I promise there won't be. Unless I get eaten by a mountain lion, and, you know, that'll be dramatic, but it won't be my fault. Anyway, um...I hope it's not too late, but if it is, I just...I just want you to know that I am so, so..."

Her phone beeps, telling her the battery has died.

Susan: "Sorry."

She puts down the phone, then curls up on the ground to go to sleep.

VICTOR'S HOUSE

Victor is standing in front of the fireplace, watching the flames. Jerome brings Gabrielle into the room.

Jerome: "Here she is, sir. No charges, no press. Never happened."

Gabrielle: "Hi, honey. You look handsome in a tux."

Jerome: "Jerome, give us the room, please."

Jerome leaves.

Gabrielle: "All right, look, I know you're mad, but wait till you hear what that jerk did to me--"

Victor: "Gaby, shut up. Are you familiar with the quote 'From the one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded'?"

Gabrielle: "Um...doesn't ring a bell."

Victor: "From the Bible."

Gabrielle: "That explains it."

She laughs.

Victor: "This is not a joke! I have been elected mayor. Certain things are expected of me. One in particular is that my future wife not assault city employees."

Gabrielle: "He was mean. He deserved it."

Victor: "I don't care! Your behavior reflects on me, and I can't do my job if you're constantly humiliating me."

Gabrielle: "Constantly? Aside from today, give me one example."

Victor: "Okay, how about jumping into my arms like a ten-year-old at the election party?"

Gabrielle: "I was just joking around, being me. I thought you liked that."

Victor: "I do, in private. In public, you have to act like a grown-up."

Gabrielle: "Okay. I'm sorry I disappointed you. It won't happen again. I better get dressed. I don't want to be late to the victory party."

She starts to leave and Victor notices that Gabrielle is rubbing her wrist.

Victor: "What happened to your wrist?"

Gabrielle: "Oh. That's what I was trying to tell you. The meter man--he grabbed my arm and twisted it."

Victor: "What? My God, he left a bruise."

Gabrielle: "Mm, it's not as bad as it looks."

Victor: "Still, he shouldn't have done that."

Gabrielle leaves the room.

LYNETTE'S HOUSE

Tom is sitting up in bed when Lynette comes into the room.

Lynette: "Hey."

Tom: "Hey! You're home early."

Lynette: "It was kind of dead tonight. Hi."

She leans down and kisses him, accidentally pushing his head against the headboard when she pulls away.

Lynette: "Ooh, sorry. By the way, we are gonna need to find a new chef. Rick gave notice."

Tom: "He quit?"

Lynette: "Well, he got a better offer from some place across town."

Tom: "That's too bad. Well...whatcha gonna do? Well...we don't have to hire someone. I am coming back."

Lynette: "You sure you're ready?"

Tom: "Yeah. Doctor said I can lose the back brace next week, and I promise I'll take it easy. No lifting-- just cooking."

Lynette: "Well, okay, then."

Lynette goes into the bathroom. She turns on the sink and then begins to cry. Outside of the bathroom, Tom leans agains the door to keep talking to her.

Tom: "I feel really good about this, hon. I have been going nuts just lying around. This is gonna be so great! We're a team again. Besides...I missed you."

Lynette calms down a little bit.

Lynette: "I missed you, too."

She begins to sob again as she leans against the wall.

EDIE'S HOUSE

Edie is sitting on the couch, filing her nails when Carlos comes in.

Carlos: "Hey, Edie?"

Edie: "Well, hello, stranger. Come on in. So what's up?"

Carlos: "Nothing much. I hear you're going for joint custody of Travers."

Edie: "Yep. I hired a lawyer, and he is a real shark."

Carlos: "Wow, you're not messing around, huh?"

Edie: "I think it's important that Travers has his mother in his life. Of course, he'll probably want to spend more time with his video game buddy."

Carlos: "Yeah. You know, but I just keep thinking, um...what's all this gonna be like for him--you know, all the traveling back and forth?"

Edie: "He's a kid. He'll adjust."

Carlos: "Yeah, plus two schools, two sets of friends. I mean, it's not gonna be easy."

Edie: "Why are you being so negative? I thought you'd be excited about this."

Carlos: "I know you did. Um...I just want you to ask yourself, is this all really in the best interest of Travers? You know, kids need stability."

Edie: "What about what I need?"

Carlos: "I know that you miss him...and I know you're worried about being lonely, but I am going to be here for you."

Edie: "Yeah, once every two weeks."

Carlos: "No. I'm really going to be here for you. And I'm gonna make you happy."

Edie: "Don't say that if you don't mean it, Carlos."

Carlos: "I do."

Edie: "All right, I'll, um...I'll call off the lawyer. You know, I really am gonna miss him."

Carlos: "Yeah, me, too."

PARTY

A crowd of people are enjoying themselves. Jerome stands underneath a banner that reads "Congratulations Mayor Lang."

Jerome: "Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the next mayor of Fairview--Victor Lang!"

Victor walks out onto the dance floor. Gabrielle joins him and they begin to dance.

WISTERIA LANE - NIGHTTIME

Two men approach the meter man, who is getting into his car.

Man: "Your name Jeff Scott?"

Meter Man: "Yeah."

Man: "You read meters for a living?"

PARTY

Victor and Gabrielle are still dancing.

Victor: "Do you know how much I love you?"

Gabrielle: "I think so."

WISTERIA LANE - NIGHTTIME

The two men begin beating up the meter man. He falls to the ground.

Mary Alice: "Anyone can end up a victim...injured by the actions of others. But whether the damage is inflicted by a cunning ex-wife...or a blow delivered by the object of our affection...the time comes when we must pick ourselves up and continue on our journey. And if we can't, then all we can pray for...is rescue."

PINEWOOD VALLEY STATE FOREST - MORNING

Susan wakes up to find Mike standing over her.

Susan: "Mike. I twisted my ankle."

Mike: "Good. 'Cause now I get to do this."

He scoops her up into his arms and kisses her.

 

The End