Edie Britt sits in her car at the construction site. She checks her appearance in the rearview mirror, then gets out of the car.
"Edie Britt’s favorite moment of every day was her arrival at the construction site of her new home, because she knew what was about to happen. Her sudden appearance was always sure to generate a few appreciative glances, a few lascivious looks, and some downright ogling. Sadly for Edie, the one man she wanted most to notice her..."
Edie looks across the street to where Mike Delfino is bringing in the newspaper. She smiles and raises her hand in greeting, but he doesn't notice her.
"...paid her no attention at all. Yes, Edie needed attention to feel good about herself and she was determined to get it."
A construction worker walks over to her.
Cyrus: "Ms. Britt, you look extra beautiful today."
Edie: "Oh, Cyrus, you’re so sweet."
Cyrus: "So anyhow, I, I was wondering if maybe I could, uh, take you out to dinner sometime."
Edie: "Oh honey, you are so far out of your league that you are playing a completely different sport."
She takes a box of doughnuts from the top of his car and walks across the street, where she knocks on Mike's door. Mike answers.
Edie: "Hey, there."
Mike: "Hi Edie. What’s up?"
Edie: "Nice ensemble, you busy?"
Mike: "No, not really."
Edie: "Oh good, I bought a bunch of fresh doughnuts for my construction workers and as you can see, I bought a few too many, so I thought maybe you and I could -"
Susan appears at the doorway, next to Mike.
Edie: "Susan!"
Susan: "Hey there Edie."
Edie: "What are you -"
Susan: "Mike and I got back together."
Edie: "Super."
Susan: "I knew you’d be happy for us. So what’s going on?"
Mike: "Uh, Edie was just about to -"
Edie: "Free doughnuts. Want em’ or not?"
Susan: "How sweet, thanks. Why don’t you go put these on a plate? Oh, and save me one with sprinkles."
Mike goes into the kitchen.
Susan: "I cannot believe you are still coming onto him."
Edie: "You said you two were finished. You thought he was a murderer."
Susan: "And that was your cue to come over and flirt? You wasted your time and your doughnuts."
Edie: "Not if you choke on them."
Mike: "Well, thanks Edie. The doughnuts look great."
Edie: "Pleasure. See ya."
Susan: "You know, I’m gonna run home and get some milk to go with those doughnuts."
Mike: "Hey, you know it’s, it's a shame you got to keep running back and forth."
Susan: "Well, I can’t have doughnuts and juice. It’s unnatural."
Mike: "No, I mean we should move in together. Come on, what do you say?"
Susan: "Um, I say, oh! Hold that thought. Edie, Edie stop! Stop! Hang on."
Edie: "What now?"
Susan: "Oh, I was just rude back there gloating and everything and I apologize."
Edie: "Well, thank you, Susan. Very big of you."
Susan: "And on a completely unrelated topic, Mike and I are moving in together. See ya."
She runs back to Mike.
"Yes, Edie Britt needed the attention of men to feel good about herself."
Edie pulls up in her car to the construction site.
Edie: "Hey, Cyrus. You have lunch plans?"
Cyrus: "No."
"And even she was amazed at how far she was willing to go to get it."
Edie: "Ellsberg Hotel. Half an hour. Welcome to the majors."
She drives off.
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Credits
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Wisteria Lane, Outside
"Mr. And Mrs. Edward Mullins were finally leaving Wisteria Lane. In the past year their street had played host to arson, violence, blackmail, and murder. Fearing they too would be infected by this moral decay, the Mullins felt it was time to say goodbye. Strangely enough none of their neighbors seemed to notice they were moving out."
The Mullins get into their packed car and drive off.
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Gabrielle's House
Gabrielle comes out of her house to where Justin is mowing the front lawn.
Gabrielle: "Hey, I thought you might be thirsty."
Justin: "No, I’m good."
Gabrielle: "So, how’s your roommate doing?"
Justin: "He’s hanging in there."
Gabrielle: "Well, uh, I had to, um, tell him some news that was a little bit upsetting for him."
Justin: "No kidding."
Gabrielle: "Excuse me?"
Justin: "Where do you get off telling John he’s not good enough to raise a child? That kid can be his."
Gabrielle: "It is a complicated situation."
Justin: "It seems pretty simple to me. You’re an unfeeling bitch."
From inside the house, Carlos looks out of the window and sees Gabrielle slap Justin across the face. Gabrielle storms inside and heads up the stairs.
Carlos: "Why’d you hit the lawn boy?"
Gabrielle: "Well if you saw what he did to our pogonias you’d slap him too."
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Peterson Advertising
Lynette walks into Tom's workplace, carrying a large cake with the words "Welcome Back Duggan!" written on it. She walks into the office that Tom and Annabel share.
Lynette: "Hey."
Tom: "Hey Lynette what are you doing here? What’s this?"
Lynette: "You told me Duggan’s coming back to work today, I thought I’d do something special for him."
Tom: "Uh huh, and this wouldn’t have anything to do with you checking up on me and Annabel?"
Lynette: "What?"
Tom: "Yesterday you brought my pictures of the kids. The day before that you brought me soup. Lynette, honey, it's gotta stop."
Lynette: "Tom, I don’t care about you working with Annabel. I told you that. This is for Duggan. He had a heart attack. I don’t care about Annabel."
Annabel walks past them to leave the room.
Annabel: "Hey, Lynette."
Lynette: "Huh. Speak of the devil. And I mean that."
Carrying the cake, Lynette leaves and follows Annabel into the office kitchen.
Annabel: "Well, you’re becoming a regular fixture around here, aren’t ya?"
Lynette: "Oh, yeah. I wanted to do something nice for Duggan."
Annabel: "I suppose filling his blood stream with butter fat might be considered nice."
Lynette: "Actually, it’s fruit juice sweetened. Can I cut you? A piece?"
From outside of the kitchen, a man's voice is heard.
Man: "Everyone, I need to see you right now."
Inside a conference room, a grey-haired man, Dan, speaks to the employees standing around the room.
Dan: "Okay listen up. I just spoke with Tim Duggan’s wife and it looks like he’s not gonna be returning to work after all. Seems that he had a relapse last night which unfortunately puts us in a very tight spot. We’re gonna work together as a team and do what we need to do, so Jerry you're taking the Holister account, Suzanne, you're covering Paradise Springs, and Annabel, I want you to take the lead on the Traveler’s hotel chain. You’re leaving for Hawaii in three days."
Annabel: "I can’t handle Traveler’s by myself, especially not if they're moving into the print."
Dan: "Well, choose someone to take with you."
Annabel: "Oh, okay. Um, I choose Tom."
Lynette, holding the knife that she used to cut the cake, steps forward and Tom automatically puts his hand out to stop her.
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Mini-Golf World
Bree and George play miniature golf together.
Bree: "Well, let’s see I’ve beaten you to bridge, and mahjong and hearts. This is your last chance to redeem yourself."
George: "Stop it. You’re gonna make me laugh."
As George lines up his shot, Bree, standing behind him, walks her fingers over his back. He turns to look at her.
Bree: "Okay, okay, I’ll be good."
She walks around to his side and whispers in his ear.
Bree: "Miss it, miss it, miss it."
George: "Bree."
Bree: "Come on, I'm allowed to psych you out."
She walks a little bit away and suddenly George gets a worried look on his face. He turns his feet in and hunches over, not moving.
Bree: "Okay, time’s up. Take your best shot."
George: "I’m not ready yet."
Bree: "Hurry up. There're people waiting."
George: "One more minute."
Bree: "Come on, take your best -"
She reaches out and swipes gently at his arm. He pulls his arm away, still hunched over.
George: "Don’t do that."
Bree: "George, do you have an erection?"
George: "I’m sorry."
Bree: "What on earth?"
George: "You were blowing on my ear."
Bree: "I was teasing you."
George: "Exactly."
Bree: "You have got to get rid of it. There are children present."
George: "How?"
Bree: "I don’t know. Um, um think of something unpleasant."
George: "Like what?"
Bree: "Like famine, or disease, or hobos. Whatever. Just hurry."
Later, they walk away from the golf course.
George: "Look, you can’t be mad about it. It’s not something men can control."
Bree: "I kept this friendship going because I though Rex’s dislike of you was paranoid, but you had feelings for me all along. God, this is just such a betrayal."
George: "Come on, Bree. The only thing I am guilty of is loving you in silence."
Bree: "Well you shouldn’t be doing that. In case you’ve forgotten I’m married."
George: "To a selfish, two-faced liar who betrayed you with a hooker."
Bree: "I told you in confidence. How dare you throw it back in my face."
George: "So, you’re ending our friendship, after everything I’ve done for you?"
Bree: "What is that supposed to mean?"
George: "Nothing. It didn’t mean anything."
Bree: "George, I do love you as a friend. I wish you could love me the same way back, but since you can’t, goodbye."
She walks off.
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Edie's House
"Later that day, Edie Britt witnessed something disturbing."
Edie looks out of her window and sees Mike, carrying a moving box, kissing Susan.
"Something she was determined to put a stop to."
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Lynette's House
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle sit around the table, preparing for poker. Edie comes in from the living room.
Gabrielle: "So is Susan coming?"
Lynette: "She said she might be a little late. They already started moving a few of Mike’s things over to her house."
Bree: "Already? Wow, good for her."
Lynette: "Yeah, it’s nice to see Susan so happy again."
Edie: "Yeah, I’m happy for Susan. But don’t you think she and Mike are moving a little fast? I mean two days ago, she was thinking he was a murderer and now she’s moving in with him?"
Gabrielle: "She found out it was in self-defense. I think they’ve cleared everything up."
Bree: "Yeah good point."
Lynette: "Mike's a decent guy."
Edie: "Yeah, that’s true. Of course there was the gun shot wound."
Lynette: "That’s right. Did they ever explain that?"
Bree: "No, and I know guns and that wound was not self-inflicted."
Edie: "And then what about Mrs. Huber’s blood-stained jewelry?"
Lynette: "Yeah, that didn’t walk into Mike’s garage by itself."
Gabrielle: "Maybe this is a mistake. If there’s one thing I’ve learned men can’t be trusted."
Edie: "Hold it. Are you saying that we should put a stop to this?"
Bree: "Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to sit her down and share our concerns."
Gabrielle: "Yeah, we could do that."
Lynette: "Yeah."
Bree: "Edie, do you want to be a part of it?"
Edie: "Well normally, I’d prefer not to get involved, but if there’s anyway that I could help Susan..."
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Susan's Garage
Susan comes out to take a box from Mike, who's truck is parked on her driveway.
Susan: "We need to talk."
Mike: "Okay."
Susan: "When I was packing up your stuff in your bedroom, I found a box of bullets."
Mike: "Oh."
Susan: "Look, I feel really bad about Deirdre, and I know that you must want to find out who killed her, but if we’re gonna move in together, we can’t have this stuff hanging over us. You've gotta get rid of it. All of it: the file, the map, the gun, especially the gun and leave this to the police. They’re the professionals."
Mike: "Well, what can I say? It seems like a reasonable request."
Susan: "Oh. Really? Well, that was easy. Maybe after lunch we can talk about your leather bean bag chair."
Mike smiles and as Susan walks back in, he looks down the street. He sees Paul get out of his car, leave a box filled with items on a Martha Huber's doorstep, then get back in his car and drive away.
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Martha Huber's House
Zach and Felicia sit at the kitchen table. The box from Paul is sitting on the table and Paul is reading from a note.
Zach: "I realize now that I’ve treated you badly. I’m the one who needs to get help not you, so I have to go away for a while, in the meantime Mrs. Tilman will look out for you."
Felicia: "I don’t consider it a burden. You know you’re welcome here."
Zach: "I left you some things, I hope you can take comfort in them. I got you a new mitt. Work on your curve ball while I’m gone. I love you. Dad. Well, I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t he come see me? Why just run away?"
Felicia: "Your father’s been very troubled, dear. I’m sure he did what he felt was best for you."
Zach: "And he wants me to take comfort in this junk? I hate baseball. You think he would know that."
Felicia: "Zach."
Zach runs away from the room. Felicia picks up a photo of Mary Alice that Zach knocked down. She begins cleaning up the rest of the items he knocked to the floor. She picks up the baseball mitt and after a second, she slips her hand into the mitt. She pulls out a note hidden in the mitt. It reads: "Zach, I didn’t leave you. Meet me at the baseball field - Thursday at midnight. Dad"
Felicia crumples the note in her hand.
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Bree's House, Nighttime
Gabrielle looks out the window.
Gabrielle: "Susan’s coming."
Edie: "Okay guys. Interventions are never pretty, so stay strong cause she’s probably gonna cry."
The doorbell rings. Bree goes to answer it while Edie, Gabrielle, and Lynette line up near the couch.
Susan: "Bonjour. Oh hi, I didn’t know that the cooking lesson was gonna be a group activity. Well, the more the merrier, right? As long as nobody makes fun of my lousy crepes. How come I’m the only one wearing the apron?"
Later, all five women sit around the table, with coffee cups in front of them.
Lynette: "I know it seems like we’re ganging up on you, but you’re moving so fast we thought a sort of intervention was necessary."
Edie: "I know it’s tough to hear. None of us wanted to do this."
Susan: "I appreciate what you guys are trying to do, I really do. Um, I’m not gonna change my mind. In my life, I’ve been hurt a lot, Karl, and uh, well it’s just taught me to be cynical, and to expect the absolute worst from people, and I don’t want to live like that anymore, and when Mike asked me to move in with him, I was just happy, just ridiculously happy. I mean, I still am and I want to go with that feeling. I love him and I love him! So I’m gonna expect the best from Mike, and I know that he is gonna deliver that in return. Okay?"
Bree, Lynette, and Gabrielle lean to her and give her assurances.
Edie: "This is the worst intervention I have ever been to."
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Restaurant
Baby Penny sits in a high chair while Lynette has lunch with Natalie.
Natalie: "This is fun. It’s forever since we had lunch."
Lynette: "Well, as happy as I am to see you, I actually have an agenda. I ran into someone last week who said you guys were looking to hire. Is that true?"
Natalie: "Yeah. Are you thinking of coming back? Because say the word -"
Lynette: "No, no, not me. I was actually thinking more about Tom."
Natalie: "Oh, Tom?"
Lynette: "Yeah, he’s been thinking about making a move for a while. He kind of feels like he’s done everything he can where he is now."
Natalie: "Huh. Well Tom's certainly solid."
Lynette: "He’s more then solid, Tom’s ideas are spectacular. He’s passionate about his work. His visual instincts are off the chart."
Natalie: "Is he as good as you?"
Lynette: "He’s apples, I’m oranges, we excel in different areas. Trust me, you should give Tom a look."
Natalie: "I don’t need apples. I need someone like you. Cut throat. Ruthless."
Lynette: "Geez, Nat, you make me feel like some kind of shark. Ah, okay. You know, actually, if that’s the kind of exec you’re looking for..."
Natalie: "You’d get a shark for me?"
Lynette: "Yes, a very pretty shark."
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Bree's House, Outside
Bree gets into her car and drives off. Down the street, George watches. Once the car has driven away, he gets out and goes up to Bree's house.
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Bree's House, Inside
George spills out Rex's prescription bottle. He fills it up with pills that he brought with him.
In their bedroom, George opens up various dresser drawers. He comes to Bree's underwear drawer and stops, staring at the panties lying neatly in there.
He lays down some pantyhose on the bed and when he pulls away, he takes out a digital camera, taking a picture of a bra, underwear, and pantyhose lying on the bed in the approximate positions they'd be on a woman.
George opens up their closet, pushing aside clothing. He kneels down and sees a box. He opens it and begins pulling out various sexual toys: handcuffs, a riding whip, fuzzy handcuffs, and leather clothing.
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Doctor's Office
Rex sits on the examining table, buttoning his shirt. Bree sits in a chair off to the side.
Doctor: "So, here’s what I’m thinking. I’m gonna see if Dr. Morrison at the Lipstone Clinic in come in and consult."
Rex: "You’re wanna bring someone else in?"
Doctor: "Your body isn’t responding to the medication the way it should, and the tests we’ve run have all come back negative, so I, I just want to be on the safe side."
His pager goes off.
Doctor: "Excuse me. I need to take this."
He leaves the room.
Bree: "I don’t know why, but I have this overwhelming feeling that you’re gonna be just fine. I really do."
Rex: "Lee Craig has the biggest ego of any doctor I know. If he wants to consult with someone, that means he’s stumped, which means I’m screwed."
Bree: "Don’t say that."
Rex: "Dammit, Bree, do you understand what’s going on here? I could die."
Bree: "So could I."
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "I could walk across a street tomorrow and be hit by a car."
Rex: "What in god’s name is your point?"
Bree: "All I’m saying is that we’re both gonna die eventually, and in the time that we have left, whether it’s two days or two decades, I think that we should be nice to each other."
Rex: "You’re right."
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Martha Huber's House
The doorbell rings. Felicia opens the door to find Mike standing there.
Mike: "Um, Mrs. Tilman. Paul Young’s been missing the last couple of days have you seen him?"
Felicia: "Why ask me?"
Mike: "Well, I saw him leave a box on the door step and I've also seen Zach over here."
Felicia: "If I did know where Mr. Young was, why would I tell you?"
Mike: "Look, um, the police think I killed your sister, and I’m sure you do too, but I swear to you I had nothing to do with it."
Felicia: "And you think Paul Young did?"
Mike: "Well, no, that’s not what I’m saying."
Felicia: "You've got to admit, it’s a neat theory. Care for a snack?"
She walks away from the door, leaving it open. Mike stares after her, then follows.
Later, Mike sits at the kitchen table, reading through a journal while Felicia sets down a teapot with cups, then sits down, herself.
Felicia: "Okay so it’s not such a stretch, the wonder if Paul avenged his wife’s death by killing Martha for blackmailing them. But perhaps I’m alone in that."
Mike: "You’re not."
Felicia: "Aren’t you sweet? Tea?"
Mike: "Thanks. Do these journals say anything about why your sister was blackmailing the Youngs?"
Felicia: "Not specifically, but I got the definite impression that it involved a murder. Now here you are saying your friend was murdered."
Mike: "Any reason you haven't showed these to the police?"
Felicia: "Are you in favor of the death penalty?"
Mike: "Um, yeah."
Felicia: "So am I. We had it in Utah. Not in this state, though. A shame, don’t you agree?"
Mike: "Yeah, I do."
Felicia: "I like you so much, Mr. Delfino."
Mike: "You know where Paul Young is?"
Felicia: "I’m afraid not, but I know where he’ll be on Thursday night."
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Gabrielle's House, Outside
"That afternoon after retrieving her mail, Gabrielle was surprised to finally learn the truth behind her pregnancy."
Gabrielle opens up a letter.
"Very surprised."
The rest of the mail drops out of her hands and lands on the ground.
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Gabrielle's House, Inside
Carlos: "Hey babe, you want to go online and check out schools? What’s going on?"
Gabrielle: "I just want to say goodbye, because I’m leaving you."
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn’t cover drugs bought by the kilo."
Carlos: "I told you, it was mamá."
Gabrielle: "The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would’ve been."
She storms out of the house and is halfway across the lawn when Carlos catches up to her and grabs her arm.
Carlos: "Stop."
Gabrielle: "Ah, ah, ah pregnant, cave man, remember?"
Carlos: "Where are you going?"
Gabrielle: "Away."
Carlos: "I’m going to jail. I’ll be gone tomorrow."
Gabrielle: "I know. That’s why I only packed one bag."
She starts to drive off in her car.
Carlos: "What about the baby Gabrielle, huh? What about my baby?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, your baby?"
Carlos: "Fine. Our baby. Hey, we’re a family now. This baby needs its mother and its father."
Gabrielle: "Oh Carlos. Whoever said you were the father?"
She drives off. Edie drives up and gets out of her car, holding a "Sold" sign.
Edie: "Hey."
Carlos begins walking quickly to her car. His ankle bracelet begins beeping.
Carlos: "Hey."
Edie: "Hey, what the hell are you doing?"
Carlos gets into her car and she quickly grabs her purse from the passenger's seat. Carlos drives off.
Edie: "Damn felon!"
Gabrielle and Carlos both drive.
In a parked police car, two cops sit. They get a call over the speaker from dispatch.
Speaker: "All units code D-1630 suspect is a violation of house arrest. Currently headed west on Park Boulevard."
Policeman: "Um, this is unit fourteen we’re on our way. Looks like the feds have a runner."
Policeman #2: "Lets go."
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John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin, in a robe, starts to take a bite of a sandwich, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. He answers it and finds Gabrielle there.
Gabrielle: "Is John here?"
Justin: "If I say no, are you gonna slap me again? He’s working. Why?"
Gabrielle: "I just left my husband."
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John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
Carlos pulls up across the street from where Gabrielle's car is parked. He sees Gabrielle and Justin come out of the building and he slouches down so they can't see him. Gabrielle and Justin hug. Gabrielle walks to her car.
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John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Justin starts to take a bite of his sandwich, but again is interrupted by a knock on the door.
Justin: "Hang on."
He opens the door and finds Carlos there. Carlos punches him and as Justin falls to the floor, Carlos begins kicking him.
Carlos: "Think just because you mow my lawn you can bang my wife?"
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John and Justin's Apartment, Outside
The policecar pulls up to where Carlos's car is parked. The cops get out and run towards the apartment.
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John and Justin's Apartment, Inside
Carlos is still kicking Justin when the police rush in and grab Carlos.
Police: "Hey, hey, hey, get off."
They slam him against the wall.
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Peterson Advertising
Tom comes out of his office. He sees in Dan's office that Annabel is shaking Dan's hand and seems very happy. She leaves, smiling.
Tom: "Hey, what’s going on?"
Annabel: "Oh Tom, I have had the craziest day. This morning the guys from Mitchell and Currents called me in. They offered me a job."
Tom: "Well, are you gonna take it?"
Annabel: "Well, I told Peterson about it and they just upped their offer. He just made me vice president."
Tom: "Of what?"
Annabel: "Tom! The firm. He gave me Duggan’s old job. Isn’t that wild? I have to go tell Scotty. I’ll see you later."
Dan: "Oh Tom, I was just coming to find you."
Tom: "What the hell, Dan? I mean what the hell? You promoted Annabel over me?"
Dan: "She got another job offer. I couldn’t afford to lose her, not now."
Tom: "Well, guess what, you lose me, 'cause I quit."
Dan: "Tom, don’t overreact."
Tom: "No, the first time you pass me by, I took it like a good soldier, but since Duggan’s heart attack, I have already been doing the job, I’ve already been doing it, then you just hand it to Annabel?"
Dan: "Okay, you made your point."
Tom: "No, you make crappy decisions on a daily basis, Dan, I got to tell you, but this one this is the stupidest."
Dan: "Hey, watch yourself."
Tom: "You have been running this company in the ground since you got here. The way I see it, I’m getting out easy."
Dan: "All right, Scavo, you want to know why I gave that promotion to Annabel? Why she got the knot instead of you? It was Lynette."
Tom: "What?"
Dan: "She went to my wife and begged her to get me to kill your promotion. She said that if you start traveling more, it’s gonna hurt your family."
Tom: "She did that?"
Dan: "Now I feel like a chump for trying to help you guys out. I guess it was another one of my crappy decisions. Have your desk cleaned out by tonight."
Dan leaves.
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John and Justin's Apartment
Two EMT men lift up a gurney that has Justin on it. Carlos, with his hands handcuffed behind him, sits on the couch.
Policeman: "You want to tell us what you have against this kid?"
Carlos: "It’s between him and me and my wife."
Policeman: "Is that what this is about? You’re doing his wife?"
Justin: "No. I’m gay."
Policeman: "You’re gay?"
Carlos: "What?"
Justin: "I’m gay."
Carlos: "This is not happening again."
Policeman #2: "What do you mean again?"
Carlos: "I want a lawyer."
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Supermarket
Bree is grocery shopping. George, also grocery shopping, comes down her aisle.
Bree: "George. Hi. What are you doing here?"
George: "I’m shopping, obviously."
Bree: "Why are you shopping here? You live on the other side of town."
George: "My friend had an operation. I’m buying her some things."
Bree: "Oh, well, that’s very nice of you."
George: "Wait, Bree, I have to tell you something."
Bree: "Well?"
George: "You need to tell Rex to be more discreet when it comes to discussing your love life."
Bree: "I’m sorry?"
George: "I don’t want to say anything more. You just really need to tell him that."
Bree: "Wait a minute. What in the world are you talking about?"
George: "I was at the hospital, visiting my friend who had had this operation, and I overheard two doctors talking about Rex’s fondness for S and M."
Bree: "You heard that?"
George: "Apparently he told them he has a box of toys? And gets you to do very inappropriate things."
Bree: "I see."
George: "Bree, this is clearly none of my business and I would’ve never brought this up, but to hear those two men laughing about you, I just thought you should know."
Bree: "Well, thank you for telling me, but I think, um, I’ve got to go."
She leaves. George walks over to her abandoned grocery cart and pops a grape into his mouth.
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Mike's House, Outside
Mike pulls his truck into his driveway. Susan comes out of the house.
Mike: "Hey, I got some more boxes."
Susan gives him a long kiss.
Mike: "That’s your answer for everything these days."
Susan: "So, what do you think we should do for dinner?"
Mike: "Oh, I, uh, can’t. I just got an emergency phone call. Busted water main."
Susan: "Okay, I’ll keep it warm for you."
Mike: "I’m afraid I'm gonna be too late for dinner."
Susan: "I wasn’t talking about dinner."
Mike brings some boxes into the house and Susan opens up the car door to remove some unfolded boxes in the backseat. She finds the journal that Mike had been reading, while having tea with Felicia.
Mike: "Need some help?"
Susan: "No, no, I got it. Um, I got it. So, if you've got a plumbing emergency shouldn’t you get going?"
Mike: "Um, they’ve already got somebody on it. I’m just a part of the relief crew."
Susan: "Well, I'll just get back to work."
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Mike's House, Outside, Nighttime
Susan and Julie sit in their car, across the street from Mike's house.
Julie: "Mom, stalking? Are we really doing this? You just made such a huge deal to your friends about how much you trust him now."
Susan: "Well, that’s before I found Mrs. Huber’s journal in his truck."
Julie: "So, what’s in it?"
Susan: "It’s not about what’s in it, it’s about the fact that he had it at all. I would bet you anything he is not going on a plumbing job and we’re gonna find out."
Julie: "Mom, if you don’t trust him, why are you moving in with him?"
Susan: "I don’t have time to explain adult relationships to you. Oh duck down."
Later, they drive.
Julie: "I think you lost him."
Susan: "He’s six cars up. We have to stay this far back or he’ll see us."
Julie: "Okay great, but we can’t see him either. I got to tell you, mom, you’re not great at this."
Susan: "Oh yeah? When your father was cheating on me I used to follow him all the time. I know my stuff. There he is."
Julie: "What’s Mike doing? Who's that he’s pulling up to?"
Susan: "I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out. Wait here and lock the doors."
She leaves and walks up to the SUV. She pulls open the door.
Susan: "All right what the hell are you up to?"
Inside the car is a man with a woman, both half undressed. They turn to stare at her.
Susan: "Oh my god, wow, um, okay oh, wow um, bye."
Woman in Truck: "Was that your wife?"
Man in Truck: "If that was my wife, you think I’d be here with you?"
Susan gets back in the car with Julie.
Julie: "It wasn’t Mike, was it?"
Susan: "No, no it wasn’t."
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Prison
In a visiting room, Gabrielle looks at a drawing of Carlos. She lowers the drawing and looks at Carlos, sitting across the table from her in an orange prison jumpsuit.
Gabrielle: "They’re charging you with a hate crime?"
Carlos: "You remember when our cable guy was beaten up? That was me. I thought you were cheating with him."
Gabrielle: "With our gay cable guy?"
Carlos: "I didn’t know he was gay. I didn’t know Justin was either. Now the cops think I’m some kind of serial gay basher."
Gabrielle: "Well you sort of are."
Carlos: "Well you provoked me. You were pretending to have an affair just to punish me."
Gabrielle: "Well, obviously."
Carlos: "So now, I need you to lie again. I need you to tell the cops you were having an affair and that I just beat up the wrong guy. Guys."
Gabrielle: "I am not lying for you, Carlos."
Carlos: "Gabby, if this charge sticks, I get sent away for eight years."
Gabrielle: "Am I supposed to be impressed? Because of your little stunt with my birth control pills, I’ve lost my freedom for the next eighteen years."
Carlos: "Gabby please don’t do this. Gabby, don’t walk away. Gabby!"
Gabrielle leaves.
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Susan's Car
Susan and Julie drive back home.
Susan: "Okay next time I won’t bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend. It was a slight error in judgment. Honey, please don’t give me the silent treatment."
Julie: "I’m not. Did you say you read this?"
Susan: "Yeah, part of it. Why?"
Julie: "Mrs. Huber was blackmailing Zach’s mom."
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Baseball Field, Nighttime
Paul stands by the bleachers, alone. He looks at his watch, then hears a noise.
Paul: "Zach?"
He turns and is punched in the face by Mike.
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Bree's House
Rex lies in bed, sleeping. Slowly, he wakes up and sees Bree sitting by the window, looking out.
Rex: "What are you doing up?"
Bree: "Couldn’t sleep, so I was just sitting here thinking."
Rex: "About what?"
Bree: "You really want to know?"
Rex: "Bree, I’m not feeling too hot right now so just tell me. What’s up?"
Bree: "I was thinking that the biggest mistake of my entire life was agreeing to marry you."
Rex: "Let me guess. I’ve done something wrong."
Bree: "Forcing me to share in your depraved pasttime wasn’t bad enough, you had to share my humiliation with your co-workers?"
Rex: "What?"
Bree: "Rex, everybody is talking about our sex life. Every sordid little detail right down to that box of perversions you keep in your closet."
Rex: "Bree, I, I never said anything to anyone. I swear to god."
Bree: "You’re a liar."
Rex: "Who told you this?"
Bree: "It doesn’t matter."
Rex: "It does matter because I never said anything."
Bree: "Well then how do people know because we both know that I wouldn’t say anything."
Rex: "Why would I tell people about what we do in bed?"
Bree: "I don’t know Rex. Maybe you were bragging or maybe you just subconsciously wanted to hurt me. Well, congratulations, you did it. I am officially destroyed."
Rex: "I didn’t say anything."
Bree: "I don’t believe you."
Rex: "Oh, oh."
Bree: "Rex? What is it?"
Rex: "I think I’m having a heart attack."
Bree: "No, you’re not."
Rex: "Bree, you’re gonna have to take me to the hospital."
Bree: "Um, all right. You, uh, go downstairs and I will be, I'll be right there."
She hands him his robe and he leaves the room.
Later, Rex sits at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the side of the rails, his eyes closed. Danielle comes down the stairs.
Danielle: "Daddy? What are you doing?"
Rex: "I’m waiting for your mother to take me to the emergency room."
Danielle: "What’s wrong?"
Rex: "I’m having a heart attack."
Danielle: "Oh my god. Where is she?"
Rex: "That’s a good question."
Danielle runs back upstairs and into Bree's bedroom, where Bree is calmly making the bed.
Danielle: "Daddy says he’s having a heart attack."
Bree: "I know. I’m gonna take him to the hospital."
Danielle: "Well when?"
Bree: "When I finish making the bed."
Danielle: "What?"
Bree: "I never leave the house with an unmade bed. You know that."
Danielle: "But daddy needs to go to the hospital."
Bree: "There. Now we can go."
She walks slowly past Danielle.
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Peterson Advertising, Nighttime
As a janitor mops the floors in the outer room, Tom puts his belongings into a box.
"Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew."
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Jail Cell
Carlos holds a picture of Gabrielle and himself, while sitting in his jail cell.
"Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted."
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Hospital
Lying on a gurney, Rex is wheeled away. Standing by a nurses station, Bree watches him go.
"Goodbye to those we though would never abandon us."
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Outside
A moving van pulls up to the Mullins' old house.
"And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome."
A teenager gets out of the driver's side and goes around the van to the passenger side, where he opens the door. A woman steps out and the two of them look at the house, then walk up to the front door.
~ The End ~
